The First Time He Hath Peed On Us

Something that I was really hoping my son would never do to me was pee on me. I know it is hilarious when you see it and hear about it, but it is not fun when it actually happens to you the first time. I was able to dodge it and caught it in a receiving blanket, my face showed relief and my son had his signature single dimple smile. My husband was not so lucky. This evening for the first time Baby E decided not to pee on my husband in a spray but he peed through his Huggies diaper on my husband. Baby E-1, Husband-0! At first I think it is the most disgusting thing and want to grimace but my husband and I after being stressed, and dead tired laughed. Compared to what we are going through right now in our lives a little pee is no biggy.

What did you consider a big baby deal prior to becoming parents? Potty Training? Throw up? Embarrassing tantrums?

Now things like that us are just plain old normal.

 

This little man is sometimes a poop monster

My House Is Just Fine- Thank You!

You know how a new puppy runs crazy around the room from person to person to get attention, and accidentally pees on the floor? Well that is how some people are when a new baby visits. This may be too mean to admit, but come on, new parents know how this is. Yes this is our first christmas and we want to enjoy it too. I can hear every mother in law, grandma, favorite uncle, and siblings cursing me out now.

Christmas is upon us and like any other American holiday everyone wants to visit or be visited. Especially with a new baby everyone wants to meet him, do not get me wrong Baby E is adorable, but sometimes saying “No” is the best and hardest response I ever gave in my life.

I loved parties and visiting prior to becoming pregnant and having a baby, I would regularly crash a few parties I was not invited to. But now, we get so many invitations we have to reply sorry to. Sorry people but I just want to stay home on a day off, rather than drive an hour and a half with a baby in traffic.

This could just be me bitching, but I do not want to spend every weekend at my parents or my in-laws because now we have a baby. With family this can be a very tricky situation, because offending someone in your family versus a friend who does not have kids understands is easier, and let’s face it family members hold grudges. When your family is like, “We love babies!”, “Bring a suitcase!”, “Stay the Whole weekend!”….. All you can do is try and not to say No, whilst making up an excuse of why you want to do tummy time all weekend with your baby in pajamas. Going out for dinner with friends I will make an exception for, the holiday party too or work event because it is probably 2 hours max.

The best offer anyone made me was “can I stop by for an hour?” I thought I heard angels singing. That is what I am aiming for, short, sweet, and to the point.

Some people you cannot get out of visiting such as your in-laws or parents, so you just have to grin and bear it. For those 6 hours of cradling and playing with your baby and watching TV because there is nothing else to do- Sorry.

In other words, If you need to say no to people because you are tired from having stayed up all night with a crying baby, they should understand. If they keep insisting insist you need some rest. And if they keep insisting after you insisted back… well i guess just telling them to piss off is the only option.

My 2-Week Guilt as a First Time Mom

My son E is nearly 1 month old, and as a First Time Mom this is supposed to be the most tiring, stressful, fulfilling and happy time of our lives. The first month is supposed to be filled with sleepless nights, bouts of tears, uncontrollable hormones, endless diaper changes and feedings. I looked forward to every little bit of it, particularly because I am to return to work very soon.

Up until this point I believed that I could be Super First Time Mom. I could not only recover from a C-Section, take care of my newborn, take care of my sick husband, and take care of myself when I became ill. Well, like all plans no matter how much planning- I failed. This may sound like me whining but believe me it is not, this is me getting all of this guilt off of my chest.
For the past two weeks, I have sat in my bed with my newborn son E lying in his bed next to me unable to hold him, breastfeed him, or soothe his crying. After a C-Section, and bout with the flu my immune system gave up on me when I needed it the most, and I became ill with Shingles. People usually have Shingles flare up after the age of 50 but for me its about 25 years to early. After a full hour of cussing out every person that I came into contact with who had germs, a cold, the flu- all while covering my newborn sons ears, the doctor broke the news that I couldn’t handle my newborn son until this had passed because i was highly contagious.

For many people not familiar with Shingles, the virus is a remnant of Chicken Pox, it never leaves your body. It is an after thought of a childhood illness, and those around you that have never had Chicken Pox are highly susceptible, and for my husband and newborn son extreme caution needed to be taken. While the “lesion” as it is called is red, itchy, and showing I am highly contagious, and no part of me should be scratched for fear of more breakouts. The attack of the nerves system is the worst because your body actually hurts like you have been trampled a dozen times.

No matter how much I cried, or asked for my newborn son, my nurse Foofoo (who is my older sister)  and husband would not hand over my son to me, for fear that even though all my intentions were very natural and maternal, if my newborn son contracted Chicken Pox, I would feel guiltily. I thought back on all the times during my pregnancy that I complained about back pain, upset stomach, or kidney issues and today i would take all of those if it meant that I did not have to lie in bed in and hear me him cry next to me, or be able to rock him to sleep. This very morning  I was able to wobble out of bed, pick up my son for the first time, and hold him, breastfeed him, burp him, and rock him to sleep.

I have never felt incandescently happy as I did in any other event in my life as I did this morning when I picked up my newborn son. To some people it is the simplest thing picking up their child, but to me it was the most fulfilling I have felt since finding out I was pregnant and responsible for the care of another being. I do not know if I will ever get past the guilt of the last two weeks, it is not like binge eating.  I do not know if I should try to make up for it in the future with Baby E? Or if I should take from it and disregard it and continue to hobble around my house?

Something I have learned early on is to cherish every moment you have with your children even more- even if it is only your first

 

Germs!

One of my pet peeves, and I hope many other moms too, are germs. I am a stiffler about people washing their hands. My husband and I even wash our hands before we pick up our son for fear of contaminating him with a flesh eating disease. I am even worse when we visit family and friends and vice versa, because naturally everyone wants a chance to hold a new baby. Washing hands for some people is second nature for others who are not used to baby’s its not. What is worse is when you receive the “OMG do you think I have crap on my hands” stare from family members. It is not a hard request, and recently on a family visit I made this point clear, politely but firmly, and was still given the “stare”. My advice for those of us stifflers who request that hands be washed, stick to your guns because germs can knock you and your loved ones out for the count- and I have a very good reason for this. If you do not have a good reason you can steal mine.
Now, I hope this does not happen to most new families, but prior to coming home we accepted a few visitors at the hospital, some of which had unbeknownst to us colds/flus. Less than a week after arriving home my husband (who admits to having a horrible immune system) was sick with fever, cough, phlegm, puking- all the worst symptoms of the flu. And 5 days later, I with a newborn, one-week post C-Section, was sick as well. Luckily I had help but I do not remember a single thing for a week with my newborn because I had worse symptoms than my husband. So please I implore people who are offended when asked- wash your damn hands! If not for you for the poor family who is awake every 3 hours, and hasn’t showered for 4 days. A shortlist of things to help less offend people who visit or whose homes you visit is below to help avoid that “stare”.

1. Hand Sanitizer, in your home this is a way to get the message across to people in a less obvious way.
2. Hand Sanitizer Travel Size- Same as above, but if this one is scented people think it is cuter.
3. A Generic Phrase to ask people/excuse such as- “we just got over really bad flus, would you mind washing your hands?” doesn’t hurt to fib
4. A baby safe cleaning and disinfecting wipes, carry them around and wipe everything that you touched or think you did.

Good Luck!